grrrrr!

Dear D,

Seriously, I shouldn't be bothered but unfortunately it does. I believe there is a reason for this. I will take stock of the nature of people and how I shall conduct my future relations with them and I should also do plenty of self reflecting on how much of this is the result of my doing.

Before thinking about how ugly the outside world is, I should first turn inward and contemplate my inner world and how the connections and interactions between the two condition my state of mind.

I used to be brash, angry and unruly but I know full well the price I have to pay for it and in some ways, perhaps I still am. Life is indeed the greatest teacher and for that I am greatful for the providence that has been bestowed upon me.

How do I be a gentleman in the midst of betrayal and deceit? How do I face my darkest fears without rebelling with hate and anger behind the veil of denial? I cannot and will not walk away from this. This is my Jihad.